Gorlim the Unhappy (gorlim) wrote in prancingdragon,
Gorlim the Unhappy

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Idle Chatter

Faramir: Slip on soft boots, that's what you need.

Gorlim: Those would fall apart in days!

Faramir: What are you doing in them, clog dancing?

Gorlim: Maybe. *eyedart*

Faramir: I thought so. I can hunt for a month in mine, and they make no noise in the forest. After a month, I make more. I have the time.

Gorlim: You make them??

Faramir: It's not hard. I have the bear skins. Do not tell anyone I've learned to sew.

Gorlim: *laughs* All right. I know how to do that, though...

Faramir: Oh? Well, that's good to know. That another man sews. Boromir never did, and I thought it made me, well. Weak. To be skilled at that rather than swordplay.

Gorlim: You see how many people call you weak when you live in the woods for five years with no women to do these things for you. You'd be amazed at the array of womanly things you end up learning to do...

Faramir: One has to, or who else will?

Gorlim: Apparently, sewing is popular among the sailors...

Faramir: *cocks an eyebrow at you* I wouldn't know about the sailors.

Gorlim: Frankly, neither would I. Somebody told me that once. They sew their fishing nets and sails. It's supposed to be a mark of... uh... something that makes them worthy to sail. The way handling a sword makes a fellow a good warrior, or how the Rohirrim pride themselves on caring for their horses.

Faramir: *winks* Do we get credit with the dashing way we can use a bookmark, with that special flourish?

Gorlim: *GRINS* Well, why not? Just think what would happen if you were to lose your place at the wrong time. LIVES COULD BE LOST for want of a particular passage!

Faramir: *nearly chokes on a sip of ale I was taking* Um, well, if you were a sorcerer, and needed a spell VERY quickly, danger was mere feet in front of you, then yes! You can't be fumbling for your page while a dragon is chewing your leg off!

Gorlim: *darkly* And that would be... BAD.

Faramir: *suppresses a smile, and tries very hard not to chortle* Beyond bad. It would be... *looks around, whispers conspiratorially* NOT GOOD.

Gorlim: *stares, valiantly keeping a straight face* No, not good at ALL.

Faramir: *staring back, intently, not blinking* A. Very. Awful. Predicament.

Gorlim: *crosses his arms and looks straight at Faramir, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tries to look serious*

Faramir: *gazes intently, steel blue eyes piercing yours, and slowly, deliberately, I let go a magnificent belch*

Gorlim: *bursts out laughing*

Faramir: *Continues to stare, mouth pressed closed, shaking with giggles trying to get out*

Gorlim: *stops laughing, looks at Faramir, falls over in helpless giggles*

Faramir: I win.

Gorlim: Bastard. *sits on the floor grinning* I'll get you for that one, you just wait.

Faramir: *tosses a soft boot at your head* I'm terrified.

Gorlim: *ducks but gets hit with it anyway* As well you should be! *tosses it back* I can be downright evil when I have to be! Just ask Halbarad.

Faramir: *softly* So can I. You never have to be evil here. I don't either. *catches boot neatly and puts it back on*

Gorlim: *smiles* Well, evil in a very loose sense of the word, then. Did you know Halbarad is allergic to laundry soap powder? *grins and takes a small round box out of his pocket, opening it to show its contents*

Faramir: I don't think I am. *ponders* You know, my cloaks are pretty dirty. Cave life, hunting all day, it takes it's toll. *pokes at the laundry soap*

Gorlim: Oh? Don't tell me you haven't learned to do laundry yet. *smirks, quickly takes a pinch of the soap and blows it directly into Faramir's face to see what happens*

Faramir: *SNEEZES VIOLENTLY DIRECTLY AT GORLIM* I cab do by launbry, I just hab to do it ab duh ribber. On duh rocks.

Gorlim: You. Are. Disgusting. *offers his handkerchief* Well, here's soap if you want it. There's lots more where I got this from.

Faramir: *blows my nose magnificently* Thanks. Actually, soap would be nice. I don't relish spending all day on the rocks like a washerwoman. This will speed the task.

Gorlim: *gives him the box* Good. There are far more interesting things to do than laundry.

Faramir: Indeed. Reading, hunting, thinking deep thoughts, occasional interesting visits from friends and lovers. Sometimes I yodel.

Gorlim: *laughs* You what??

Faramir: Not really. Just wanted to see what face you would make. That was a good one!

Gorlim: Touché. Another point for you. *takes a book out of his pocket and writes something in it*

Faramir: *wonders about that book* Are we having a contest?

Gorlim: No. I'm delving into the realm of science.

Faramir: I think it's best to stay ignorant here. I hear it's bliss.

Gorlim: But this is very interesting science. It might even turn out to be useful. See? I have a record here of everyone I know to be allergic to that soap.

Faramir: Ah, I see. Perhaps someday you will make a medical breakthrough and receive a large award.

Gorlim: Or maybe I'll just put laundry soap in everyone's bed and wander through the halls listening to them sneeze all night. *smirk*

Faramir: I knew there was something I admired about you. I just now realized that it's your ability to have good clean fun in BED. A rarity in Middle Earth, indeed.

Gorlim: That's because good sex limits a person's imagination in certain areas, whereas bad sex leads you to explore the possibility that maybe beds are good for other things.

Faramir: *blinks* That's.... rather profound.

Gorlim: Is it? Huh. Maybe you need to try being sexually repressed for a while and see how things you think are profound suddenly become rather obvious.

Faramir: *stifles memories long since buried* Mmmhm. I think, I shall not be going there.

Gorlim: Suit yourself. Personally, I wouldn't recommend it, either.

Faramir: Well, then, we are agreed. No sexual repression! *raises my mug to that*

Gorlim: Uhhh.... RIGHT! *snatches soap box and raises it*

Faramir: Don't drink that!

Gorlim: *looks at the soap* No? All right. *puts it down*

Faramir: I swear, you couldn't get though a day without me. *shakes head, pours a second ale, hands it over* Step away from the soap.

Gorlim: *takes the ale, steps away from the soap* I swore the same thing when you left. And yet I have. Somehow. More or less. Approximately. Most of the time.

Faramir: I knew you would. I had full confidence that you would find your path. *shrugs* So it's a bumpy one... it's still your path to travel.

Gorlim: True. Which is just as well, because I don't know if I'd be able to find my way on a different one. Not that I know where I'm going NOW, but still... *drinks the ale* It's an improvement.
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